I've been rehearsing a show now for a number of weeks. It's called Seven Days. Told from the present and the past, it is the story of a family coming together, of reconciling their differences and finding compassion for one another after their domineering matriarch passes away. The show is produced by Teatron Theatre, directed by Ari Weisberg and running from January 8-19 2014 at the Toronto Centre for the Arts. I'm excited to be playing with a group of talented actors; in addition to this, as the character who goads and challenges the family at every turn, I'm looking forward to causing some havoc on stage.
So it's Christmas Day and I'm sitting comfortably in a chair running lines over and over again. Breaking the scenes into smaller pieces and through repetition gaining deeper understanding of the text and the relationships. I'm doing what I do, I'm working, striving to create the best character performance I possibly can.
I was reading a short monologue and I caught myself "just" reading without thought. I was throwing it away. What?! A solo moment where I could shine tossed out the window?! Can't have that! (Sarcasm/truth). So I dug in began to consciously say the words and of course found so much more. The proverbial light bulb went on above my head when I said "there is never a moment on stage to throw away. Each line, each word has a purpose". Simple and true. I had forgotten that for a moment. Forgotten how important it is to do the homework. When I do, I find the character's depth and humanity - I find the powerful performance.
As an exercise, next time you pick up your pen, paintbrush, instrument or tool for creativity, approach it with absolute awareness. See what happens when you remember that "Nothing you do as an artist is a throw away."
Monday, December 30, 2013
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Down Time!
Since mid August when I started writing again I have endeavored to write a post every week.
Last week I missed one.
As you know I was sick, I got healthier, then there was the feeling of catching up, running about for the Christmas shopping, putting up the tree, cooking, hosting a party….
Sounds like excuses to me.
I actually felt guilty for not writing at one point, and I thought to myself,
"Next week when it's time to write again, give your readers an apology."
So I've been contemplating that all week. Fortunately most of this week I had off.
I was relaxing, having got a lot of the things done I need done, when it hit me.
No matter what we do, how heavy or light the load may seem, regardless of any circumstance
We all need down time.
I commented on it with a friend who works seven days a week. I offered advice that they need a break
And so it hit me.
I didn't neglect my blog, or my readers, my body was telling me I needed some down time from writing.
Its been a new venture and I have been at it diligently since its undertaking.
I needed a bit of a break. That's all.
We all need a break sometimes.
Merry Christmas everyone. I'll write next week.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Christmas Is Dying
I normally keep my posts to things related to acting but this week I make an exception.
I have been and, I imagine, always will be a lover of Christmas.
As a kid growing up the snow fell.
Streets began to glow with special lights and reflect in the new world of white.
The city put up lights and decorations.
Trees were decked out with Christmas fare.
The malls transformed into magical lands.
The fifth floor of the big department stores became Toy Land.
Carolers sung amongst the shoppers; and when they weren't present carols piped through the speakers.
Store windows were frosted white with scenes of winter play.
Santa set up a castle so we could visit.
Television ran specials and hot chocolate flowed.
Most of all, on the lips of every person were the words of Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.
Christmas possesses a magic; a magic which transcends all races, cultures, creeds and colours.
It was a time when everyone seemed to simply say "I wish you well, we are brothers called man"
It seemed that tensions released and smiles dominated people's faces.
Christmas' magic, created through decorations, carols, windows, castles and trees,
Brought a general good will to mankind.
I went through the mall today
I heard no carols,
Decorations so sparse they were hard to see
One lonely tree
No frosted windows
No Toy Land
No castle
No jolly old elf
Most of all, no smiles and no words imparting peace and good will to man
As I looked to the North I could not help think:
Christmas is Dying.
I have been and, I imagine, always will be a lover of Christmas.
Streets began to glow with special lights and reflect in the new world of white.
The city put up lights and decorations.
Trees were decked out with Christmas fare.
The malls transformed into magical lands.
The fifth floor of the big department stores became Toy Land.
Carolers sung amongst the shoppers; and when they weren't present carols piped through the speakers.
Store windows were frosted white with scenes of winter play.
Santa set up a castle so we could visit.
Television ran specials and hot chocolate flowed.
Most of all, on the lips of every person were the words of Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.
Christmas possesses a magic; a magic which transcends all races, cultures, creeds and colours.
It was a time when everyone seemed to simply say "I wish you well, we are brothers called man"
It seemed that tensions released and smiles dominated people's faces.
Christmas' magic, created through decorations, carols, windows, castles and trees,
Brought a general good will to mankind.
I went through the mall today
I heard no carols,
Decorations so sparse they were hard to see
One lonely tree
No frosted windows
No Toy Land
No castle
No jolly old elf
Most of all, no smiles and no words imparting peace and good will to man
 |
| Has Scrooge's Bah Humbug Won? (Ebenezer Scrooge copyright via Disney) |
As I looked to the North I could not help think:
Christmas is Dying.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Reset
This last week I was sick. Very sick.
To all the people who know me they understand this is serious.
You see, I am blessed with the immune system of a Titan.
The last time I was sick, I had a cough, I felt groggy, and I laid on the couch for the better part of the day.
The next day I went to work, perfectly healthy.
My first roommate, ended up with a serious cold he could not shake for a few months. He continually felt like garbage and looked worse for two months.
My second roommate, also blessed with a powerful immune system, was down and out for two weeks. He dragged his butt to work, I think took a few sick days, and cursed my name.
My third roommate, couldn't get out of bed for three weeks.
I made him chicken soup and tended to his every need.
So for me to be sick for a week is serious! There have been a few jokes about calling W.H.O for the planet's safety. No one came to visit for fear of death. Bless Karim M for his trot down the hall to hand me hot soup and his humorous high speed exodus to avoid infection.
Sick by my standards: I was bedridden. I was delirious. I had a fever. I broke the fever. I had another fever. I broke the fever. I got another fever - fuck that I went to the clinic. Chest x-rays for pneumonia. I took a sick day from work! I missed two rehearsals!!!! I'm still coughing, wheezing and waiting on chest x-ray results.
The doctor said to me, "Even the Titans need to fall once in a while"
A harmless joke based on my amazing history; but, it hung with me. It connected to that old saying about getting knocked down only matters if you don't get up. Or the one about falling off the horse so you can get back on. Or "That which does not kill me makes me stronger."
To me these have always been statements of pushing forward and fighting against the thing that knocks me down. Of being able to stand up and fight harder than that which put me on the ground in the first place. I'm a bit older now, I don't turn to violence, mentally or otherwise, nearly as often as youthful me did. So while I thought about falling Titans (lying in my bed wheezing) I wondered, "why is it important Titans to fall?"
So they can calibrate, so they can understand what knocked them down, and fortify against that in the future. It is not about the fight. It's about hitting the reset button so new information can be assimilated. A computer loads a program, it shuts down and reboots with the new working system. Well I needed to get sick to assimilate, to load the new program, to understand what "sick" means, to remind myself of the empathy and compassion for those in my shoes and worse, for the growth and character it builds to go sleepless because of coughing, for the experience of getting up again.
How does this effect my actor, my artist, my creative self?
I ask you, I ask me, I ask the world,
When do we as artists reset to assimilate and make what we have learned fully part of us rather than some concept taught by a teacher, a peer, a you tube video?
Find yourself in the reset - grow and create.
To all the people who know me they understand this is serious.
You see, I am blessed with the immune system of a Titan.
The last time I was sick, I had a cough, I felt groggy, and I laid on the couch for the better part of the day.
The next day I went to work, perfectly healthy.
My first roommate, ended up with a serious cold he could not shake for a few months. He continually felt like garbage and looked worse for two months.
My second roommate, also blessed with a powerful immune system, was down and out for two weeks. He dragged his butt to work, I think took a few sick days, and cursed my name.
My third roommate, couldn't get out of bed for three weeks.
I made him chicken soup and tended to his every need.
So for me to be sick for a week is serious! There have been a few jokes about calling W.H.O for the planet's safety. No one came to visit for fear of death. Bless Karim M for his trot down the hall to hand me hot soup and his humorous high speed exodus to avoid infection.
Sick by my standards: I was bedridden. I was delirious. I had a fever. I broke the fever. I had another fever. I broke the fever. I got another fever - fuck that I went to the clinic. Chest x-rays for pneumonia. I took a sick day from work! I missed two rehearsals!!!! I'm still coughing, wheezing and waiting on chest x-ray results.
The doctor said to me, "Even the Titans need to fall once in a while"
A harmless joke based on my amazing history; but, it hung with me. It connected to that old saying about getting knocked down only matters if you don't get up. Or the one about falling off the horse so you can get back on. Or "That which does not kill me makes me stronger."
To me these have always been statements of pushing forward and fighting against the thing that knocks me down. Of being able to stand up and fight harder than that which put me on the ground in the first place. I'm a bit older now, I don't turn to violence, mentally or otherwise, nearly as often as youthful me did. So while I thought about falling Titans (lying in my bed wheezing) I wondered, "why is it important Titans to fall?"
So they can calibrate, so they can understand what knocked them down, and fortify against that in the future. It is not about the fight. It's about hitting the reset button so new information can be assimilated. A computer loads a program, it shuts down and reboots with the new working system. Well I needed to get sick to assimilate, to load the new program, to understand what "sick" means, to remind myself of the empathy and compassion for those in my shoes and worse, for the growth and character it builds to go sleepless because of coughing, for the experience of getting up again.
How does this effect my actor, my artist, my creative self?
I ask you, I ask me, I ask the world,
When do we as artists reset to assimilate and make what we have learned fully part of us rather than some concept taught by a teacher, a peer, a you tube video?
Find yourself in the reset - grow and create.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Preparation
Malcolm Gladwell, author of Outliers: The Story of Success, suggests that it takes TEN THOUSAND HOURS of practice before any person is at the point which allows them to reach success.
Sir Lawrence Olivier, has said that one should read a piece at least TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY times before it is ready; I learned this information by way of Tom Todoroff.
Sir Anthony Hopkins, in an interview I saw many years ago (I state this as my mind may be faulty here - take the point though it was a very high number), said he often would read a script as much as TWELVE HUNDRED TIMES before he got to set.
I have heard of famous athletes making similar statements in terms of practice.
It seems to me that to be good at anything one needs to put in numerous hours of preparation before one can be successful. It makes sense to me. We don't wake up as actors and just know how to successfully spill off believable dialogue for stage and camera. No we practice, practice and then we practice more. We go to classes, we read with friends, we do unpaid work to get experience, we monologue to ourselves walking down the street, we repeat dialogue on the subway, we read scripts and we practice.
This past week I had a big audition and I went in prepared. I went in with my two pieces, both of which have had their runs in practice above the three hundred mark. Patient friends listening to them, neighbors who must have them memorized while they hear them through my thin walls - I thank them both.
I sat down to do my first piece and I dropped into character, I said my first, my second, my third line and I stumbled. It was very minor glitch, a second's break in my concentration. Nerves kicked in, I was messing up, I could loose this chance, never to be had again, how good of an actor am I, what am I doing, oh no what next… all in the blink of an eye in real time. And then I stepped outside of myself, reminded me of what I can do, calmed myself and carried on. It went over smashingly.
As I left the room and took a moments reflection (a general rule I use, do and forget it cause it is in the past once I am out of the audition room) I realized that in that blink of an eye, I didn't corpse or flail. In the slight rearrange of wording nobody knew any different. Only I knew there was a glitch. Why? Because of so much practice, my "muscle memory" kept me in check while my actor put himself back on track and stayed there.
Practice.
Sir Lawrence Olivier, has said that one should read a piece at least TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY times before it is ready; I learned this information by way of Tom Todoroff.
Sir Anthony Hopkins, in an interview I saw many years ago (I state this as my mind may be faulty here - take the point though it was a very high number), said he often would read a script as much as TWELVE HUNDRED TIMES before he got to set.
I have heard of famous athletes making similar statements in terms of practice.
It seems to me that to be good at anything one needs to put in numerous hours of preparation before one can be successful. It makes sense to me. We don't wake up as actors and just know how to successfully spill off believable dialogue for stage and camera. No we practice, practice and then we practice more. We go to classes, we read with friends, we do unpaid work to get experience, we monologue to ourselves walking down the street, we repeat dialogue on the subway, we read scripts and we practice.
This past week I had a big audition and I went in prepared. I went in with my two pieces, both of which have had their runs in practice above the three hundred mark. Patient friends listening to them, neighbors who must have them memorized while they hear them through my thin walls - I thank them both.
I sat down to do my first piece and I dropped into character, I said my first, my second, my third line and I stumbled. It was very minor glitch, a second's break in my concentration. Nerves kicked in, I was messing up, I could loose this chance, never to be had again, how good of an actor am I, what am I doing, oh no what next… all in the blink of an eye in real time. And then I stepped outside of myself, reminded me of what I can do, calmed myself and carried on. It went over smashingly.
As I left the room and took a moments reflection (a general rule I use, do and forget it cause it is in the past once I am out of the audition room) I realized that in that blink of an eye, I didn't corpse or flail. In the slight rearrange of wording nobody knew any different. Only I knew there was a glitch. Why? Because of so much practice, my "muscle memory" kept me in check while my actor put himself back on track and stayed there.
Practice.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Choosing
"Maybe it's time I rethink career?!"
These were the words from a much younger actor I spoke to earlier this week.
Acting the Myth: Fame, Fortune, Fast Cars, Red Carpets, Jet Setting Life Style, Adoring Fans, Gala Parties, Excitement At Work, Never A Dull Moment, Whirlwind Romances, Sordid Affairs, Glitz, Glamour and Lots and Lots of Fun
Acting the Reality: Uncertain Income, Struggling To Meet The Bills, Challenged Relationships, Extreme High's and Low's, Frustration With Lacking Work, Ongoing Self Promotion, Extra Work Beyond What Pays Bills, Slant Eyes From Friends And Family Who Wish You Well.
I looked long and hard at the actor and said "Yes. Yes you should. But make sure you rethink it with passion."
Both of those realities are possible for any actor. The first one is only a myth, because it is rare and, although real, it is what people thinks happens the moment they decide to go into acting. The second one is the reality because it is most commonly the result of deciding to become an actor. When you look at the reality, you have to love the craft, so that you can accept where you are at. It means there are sacrifices and hardships but all of those are worth it for the love of the craft. You have to have passion and you must be passionate about what you do or you cannot do it - even if it means struggling. Here is the thing though; the myth rarely to never happens unless you have passion, but the reality happens regardless. It is the passion that drives you through and brings you to the top.
So if you are thinking about any of the hardships you may face and then you find yourself thinking about any other line of work - go and do it because you will be much happier without the struggle.
These were the words from a much younger actor I spoke to earlier this week.
Acting the Myth: Fame, Fortune, Fast Cars, Red Carpets, Jet Setting Life Style, Adoring Fans, Gala Parties, Excitement At Work, Never A Dull Moment, Whirlwind Romances, Sordid Affairs, Glitz, Glamour and Lots and Lots of Fun
Acting the Reality: Uncertain Income, Struggling To Meet The Bills, Challenged Relationships, Extreme High's and Low's, Frustration With Lacking Work, Ongoing Self Promotion, Extra Work Beyond What Pays Bills, Slant Eyes From Friends And Family Who Wish You Well.
I looked long and hard at the actor and said "Yes. Yes you should. But make sure you rethink it with passion."
Both of those realities are possible for any actor. The first one is only a myth, because it is rare and, although real, it is what people thinks happens the moment they decide to go into acting. The second one is the reality because it is most commonly the result of deciding to become an actor. When you look at the reality, you have to love the craft, so that you can accept where you are at. It means there are sacrifices and hardships but all of those are worth it for the love of the craft. You have to have passion and you must be passionate about what you do or you cannot do it - even if it means struggling. Here is the thing though; the myth rarely to never happens unless you have passion, but the reality happens regardless. It is the passion that drives you through and brings you to the top.
So if you are thinking about any of the hardships you may face and then you find yourself thinking about any other line of work - go and do it because you will be much happier without the struggle.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
What Support?!
I'm sitting in a cafe with a group of artists and the thread of the conversation is miserable
"The government does not support the arts. There is not enough funding. Arts never get money" etc.
I'm arriving early to a staged reading I'm performing in. I'm arriving early to sit in the audience and support the other two groups which go on before me. The house is moderately full (as full as 25 seats will let you be). I'm enjoying listening to these other new Canadian Plays. After the first read I note the company, having done their reading, leave the venue. Following the second act I note the same thing of this company. I climb onto my stool to read for the audience. The house is less than moderately full, having lost half of it in exiting companies and their friends in the audience.
I'm on stage for a two show staged reading (a different one) for a new theatre company; it is the official launch of this theatre company - "hello world we are here!". The theatre company is closely related to another company, so close I call them sister companies. The artistic teams and regular actors used have a large cross over. I take my place and look out into the abysmal audience - photographer and his girlfriend asked to be there to shoot the event, sister to an actor, boyfriend to another actor. No one else? No support from your sister company?
I'm sitting at an improv show, hosted by my good friends The Dandies for their regular Holo Deck Follies show (a Star Trek improv spoof) and the audience is packed. Yes it is a Movember fund raiser event so lets knock off 20% of that house. It is still full. I know eight months ago this audience was not full, but the Dandies, being who they are decided they wanted to better promote and so that is what they have been doing. Regular houses are now decently full.
I'm sitting at Savage in Limbo. A popular play, a new company. I know one of the actresses and am good friends with her producer fiancé. (His first theatre producer role) The house is decent and I am told it is unusual for them, the other nights have been sell outs. The show just announced their extension.
I'm wondering what is the difference here and thinking back to my cafe where the artists are bitching. Yes it is true, we do not have funding in copious amounts from federal and provincial levels. It also seems that when we do have funding it goes to those who already have the means and don't seem to really need the support (Mirvish for Lord of the Rings, Egoyan for another film, Cronenberg, CanStage, Tarragon…the list goes on) yes they deserve funding too, but so much seems to go to these already established places, where they have existing fundraising models in place, where they could most likely survive without the government money. I don't know this for sure, but I'm willing to bet on it. *insert firm handshake here* So the point is what little money we have in government support seems to be given to the already established. This to me is a problem - because well if we gave a more equal distribution of money to a larger pool of artists then their would be that much more art being made in order to make the community that much more vibrant. Again true, but something is not hitting me right on this note. Why does this potential for a good "damn the man" blog not sing to me.
And it hits me while I am sitting in the audience for the Dandies. The man in this case is Joe Canadian who is sitting at home, watching TV, missing out on another piece of art that a friend of their's did. It is the artist at the bar saying I can't afford a ticket to your show while ordering their fifth pint that night (lets not discuss last nights bar tab), it is the theatre team that is too busy to make it to your show because we are doing ours…the list goes on. So here it is!
Get off your ass and get out there as support the arts. Don't be so self centered and only focus on your work expecting people to come see it - go see some other shows support them and they will come to out to your show, hold off on a couple of pints this month and buy a ticket to a show you want to see - not every ticket is a hundred dollar Mirvish hit/flop and I bet your buddy's show is only 10/20 bucks, don't watch another movie or episode of TV - hell PVR that shit and go see closing night of your best friends blood sweat and tears. My artist friends in the cafe are right there is no support for the arts but lets clarify what we mean. No support means that our community is not helping itself, it is not supporting itself, it is not making an effort to be an artistic community. So why in hell would any government body look at a flailing industry with no internal support and throw them money? I wouldn't.
When I look at who does get money, Mirvish, Egoyan, CanStage…you know what, they could survive without the government money because they worked damn hard to get an audience to support them, and that audience would still be there if these establishments had to raise the funds on their own, or get more grass roots because they had less money. I look at the team on Savage in Limbo and the Dandies and see them make money because they work hard and for their efforts people have come to see them. Yes much more could and should be made but they are showing what happens when artists support artists and go see the work. Money breeds money, and if I have to throw a dollar out then I'm throwing it where I can see it winning. I get what the government is doing. So when I spend my dollar, I'm going to spend it on my fellow and immediate artists because I believe in them and the work they are doing, and dammit, I wanna let the government know the next time they hand out cash, that it should reach all artists because Toronto is a thriving community supported internally first.
Addendum
When I go see live shows, or support arts in person, I am always presently surprised. Those moments can never be recreated and are individual in that moment. Case in point the November fundraiser which the Dandies recently did - well they achieved their campaign goal on the first night of their drive - I helped artists and prostate cancer. But better yet, I got to see my best friend propose to his girlfriend live on stage and hear her accept because I was present. That will never happen again. Didn't read that on FB, I saw it live. Congratulations Dale Wells and Andie Leathley you two are awesome.
GET OUT THERE, STOP BITCHING, SUPPORT THE ARTS AND HELP OUR COMMUNITY THRIVE
"The government does not support the arts. There is not enough funding. Arts never get money" etc.
I'm arriving early to a staged reading I'm performing in. I'm arriving early to sit in the audience and support the other two groups which go on before me. The house is moderately full (as full as 25 seats will let you be). I'm enjoying listening to these other new Canadian Plays. After the first read I note the company, having done their reading, leave the venue. Following the second act I note the same thing of this company. I climb onto my stool to read for the audience. The house is less than moderately full, having lost half of it in exiting companies and their friends in the audience.
I'm on stage for a two show staged reading (a different one) for a new theatre company; it is the official launch of this theatre company - "hello world we are here!". The theatre company is closely related to another company, so close I call them sister companies. The artistic teams and regular actors used have a large cross over. I take my place and look out into the abysmal audience - photographer and his girlfriend asked to be there to shoot the event, sister to an actor, boyfriend to another actor. No one else? No support from your sister company?
I'm sitting at an improv show, hosted by my good friends The Dandies for their regular Holo Deck Follies show (a Star Trek improv spoof) and the audience is packed. Yes it is a Movember fund raiser event so lets knock off 20% of that house. It is still full. I know eight months ago this audience was not full, but the Dandies, being who they are decided they wanted to better promote and so that is what they have been doing. Regular houses are now decently full.
I'm sitting at Savage in Limbo. A popular play, a new company. I know one of the actresses and am good friends with her producer fiancé. (His first theatre producer role) The house is decent and I am told it is unusual for them, the other nights have been sell outs. The show just announced their extension.
I'm wondering what is the difference here and thinking back to my cafe where the artists are bitching. Yes it is true, we do not have funding in copious amounts from federal and provincial levels. It also seems that when we do have funding it goes to those who already have the means and don't seem to really need the support (Mirvish for Lord of the Rings, Egoyan for another film, Cronenberg, CanStage, Tarragon…the list goes on) yes they deserve funding too, but so much seems to go to these already established places, where they have existing fundraising models in place, where they could most likely survive without the government money. I don't know this for sure, but I'm willing to bet on it. *insert firm handshake here* So the point is what little money we have in government support seems to be given to the already established. This to me is a problem - because well if we gave a more equal distribution of money to a larger pool of artists then their would be that much more art being made in order to make the community that much more vibrant. Again true, but something is not hitting me right on this note. Why does this potential for a good "damn the man" blog not sing to me.
And it hits me while I am sitting in the audience for the Dandies. The man in this case is Joe Canadian who is sitting at home, watching TV, missing out on another piece of art that a friend of their's did. It is the artist at the bar saying I can't afford a ticket to your show while ordering their fifth pint that night (lets not discuss last nights bar tab), it is the theatre team that is too busy to make it to your show because we are doing ours…the list goes on. So here it is!
Get off your ass and get out there as support the arts. Don't be so self centered and only focus on your work expecting people to come see it - go see some other shows support them and they will come to out to your show, hold off on a couple of pints this month and buy a ticket to a show you want to see - not every ticket is a hundred dollar Mirvish hit/flop and I bet your buddy's show is only 10/20 bucks, don't watch another movie or episode of TV - hell PVR that shit and go see closing night of your best friends blood sweat and tears. My artist friends in the cafe are right there is no support for the arts but lets clarify what we mean. No support means that our community is not helping itself, it is not supporting itself, it is not making an effort to be an artistic community. So why in hell would any government body look at a flailing industry with no internal support and throw them money? I wouldn't.
When I look at who does get money, Mirvish, Egoyan, CanStage…you know what, they could survive without the government money because they worked damn hard to get an audience to support them, and that audience would still be there if these establishments had to raise the funds on their own, or get more grass roots because they had less money. I look at the team on Savage in Limbo and the Dandies and see them make money because they work hard and for their efforts people have come to see them. Yes much more could and should be made but they are showing what happens when artists support artists and go see the work. Money breeds money, and if I have to throw a dollar out then I'm throwing it where I can see it winning. I get what the government is doing. So when I spend my dollar, I'm going to spend it on my fellow and immediate artists because I believe in them and the work they are doing, and dammit, I wanna let the government know the next time they hand out cash, that it should reach all artists because Toronto is a thriving community supported internally first.
Addendum
When I go see live shows, or support arts in person, I am always presently surprised. Those moments can never be recreated and are individual in that moment. Case in point the November fundraiser which the Dandies recently did - well they achieved their campaign goal on the first night of their drive - I helped artists and prostate cancer. But better yet, I got to see my best friend propose to his girlfriend live on stage and hear her accept because I was present. That will never happen again. Didn't read that on FB, I saw it live. Congratulations Dale Wells and Andie Leathley you two are awesome.
GET OUT THERE, STOP BITCHING, SUPPORT THE ARTS AND HELP OUR COMMUNITY THRIVE
Monday, October 28, 2013
The Fault of Canadian Cinema
In the past six years I have seen a lot of Canadian movies and they all seem to have one thing in common: a distinct Canadian style. I can spot Canadian film and television a mile away by the way it looks. Unfortunately, this Canadian does not seem to be appreciated by… well by anybody. The result of this lacking appreciation seems to be that no one wants to watch a Canadian product. It seems that everyone is drawn to the product of our more affluent neighbors to the south and no matter what we produce we just can't seem to compete.
I will take a moment to point out that there are exceptions to the rule and I know out there some Canadian films don't rank in my above statements. It is a very broad brush I paint with. I am okay with that because I'm speaking to a majority right now.
Moving back on target, I don't understand why our film product is perceived as substandard. Nor do I understand why we continue to make the same product and expect different results. We as an affluent country have the means, the technology, the natural environment and for goodness we certainly have the talent on both sides of the camera to produce something different. This is a point that I have raised many times with my friends, colleagues and, acquaintances and it seems everyone agrees: When will we make movies that compete against our American counter parts?
Believe it or not I am the last person on the planet who wants to lose or give up any of my Canadian identity. At the same time I am an artist who would like to see the work of my country competing on a world class stage. All too often I see a great Canadian film crash because of our distinct style. I for one am tired of it.
I'm no genius, but when I look at marketing and gaining an audience it seems simple to me. If everyone is selling big bright red juicy apples and people are buying them then anyone competing against them apples has one of two choices to make a dollar.
One: if your apples don't look as big, as bright as red and as juicy as the other guy's find a unique angle to market your apples so that people see value in something different.
Two: if number one is not working, then start selling big bright red juicy apples also. This way you can compete in the market place. Once you have a loyal following at your fruit stand, start trying to sell your other apples too. In doing so you are now more competitive in the market place.
From where I sit, our apples are not big, bright red and juicy. Nobody seems to be buying them. Hey Canada filmmakers, when you going to start selling big, bright red juicy apples?
I will take a moment to point out that there are exceptions to the rule and I know out there some Canadian films don't rank in my above statements. It is a very broad brush I paint with. I am okay with that because I'm speaking to a majority right now.
Moving back on target, I don't understand why our film product is perceived as substandard. Nor do I understand why we continue to make the same product and expect different results. We as an affluent country have the means, the technology, the natural environment and for goodness we certainly have the talent on both sides of the camera to produce something different. This is a point that I have raised many times with my friends, colleagues and, acquaintances and it seems everyone agrees: When will we make movies that compete against our American counter parts?
Believe it or not I am the last person on the planet who wants to lose or give up any of my Canadian identity. At the same time I am an artist who would like to see the work of my country competing on a world class stage. All too often I see a great Canadian film crash because of our distinct style. I for one am tired of it.
I'm no genius, but when I look at marketing and gaining an audience it seems simple to me. If everyone is selling big bright red juicy apples and people are buying them then anyone competing against them apples has one of two choices to make a dollar.
One: if your apples don't look as big, as bright as red and as juicy as the other guy's find a unique angle to market your apples so that people see value in something different.
Two: if number one is not working, then start selling big bright red juicy apples also. This way you can compete in the market place. Once you have a loyal following at your fruit stand, start trying to sell your other apples too. In doing so you are now more competitive in the market place.
From where I sit, our apples are not big, bright red and juicy. Nobody seems to be buying them. Hey Canada filmmakers, when you going to start selling big, bright red juicy apples?
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Performance
Earlier today I had a thought about what I wanted to blog about tonight. It was about "Creative Ideas" - how someone comes up with something, that to so many may be inane, but they follow through with it and then it becomes cool, popular, a 'thing', etc. The idea came to me while I was in rehearsal and I thought that is something to chew on a bit....
Forget that, I'll have to come back to it. As I said, it came to me in rehearsal, and following the rehearsal, I went on stage and did a reading of the thing I was rehearsing. I have just travelled home, following that performance, and I am all jazzed. I wanted to throw my emotional state out on this page with a "sympathetic audience" (a line from the play), because well, I believe that you will understand. Now although you are not here with me to chat over a coffee and get all existential with me I have a sense of unspoken camaraderie with you my reader, a connection. It is through the release of emotion and our connection that magic can happen so....
Adrenaline is pumping through my veins. As I walked down the subway platform I felt elevated, not above anyone there, just different. I said to myself, "I am fortunate for having found and chosen to follow that which inspires me, that which gives me joy, and that which allows me to feel so alive." I wanted to run up and down and scream for joy, to dance with glee, to pull a little bit of the old Snoopy shuffle.
 |
| If you don't know my reference: Classic happy Snoopy dance, as depicted in Peanuts cartoon by Charles M. Schultz |
I have a good friend and business partner, Stevie Jay, and we have agreed that good theatre needs a black box (and sometimes not even that), an audience, and good story telling - that is it. Everything else can add to it, but it is extra. Tonight at the reading it is all we had. It was 'just' a reading. We rehearsed it twice through this afternoon, took a break for dinner and up we went script in hand. So much fun.
So there I am in a small space reading away, portraying the limited character I have created off of a few reads, telling this story, which by the way is very well written by play wright Adam Bailey, and I look up. I look out into the audience and use them as the character they are in this piece and all I can see are faces of people who are completely engaged. People who have been transported to the world we three actors and a playwright have created. Souls that are so wrapped up in the story that for a brief time they are able to let go of everything else. Spirits who are living a different reality in this moment which I am helping to create. There was one particular moment that my character's pride is rising with the story he is recounting, he is stepping out of the mire onto solid land. On a physical level I had been sitting slightly slumped over and as I said this little speech I began to sit more upright. I was amazed to see several audience members who were slouched in there chairs begin to rise with me, to sit more upright and live that moment simultaneously.
Yes it is my perception, and there could be a million reasons why several people, began to sit more upright in pace with me as I did so. But I believe they sat up with me because they were engaged, they were transported and for some maybe they felt pride and experienced something as I told my piece of that story. It is a rush to see the effect I can have on people (we all have that power when we share our feelings - go tell your lover how you really feel and see what happens). I am so happy that I get to actively tell story and produce that effect on many people, to reach out and touch other humans, to bring something to them, something they may be talking about right now. All I can say is WOW! And I know that feeling is understood by every artist out there. Thanks for letting me share.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Thanksgiving
"I have to little"
"I'm so close, if there was just a little bit more."
"I got a job, just not the one I want."
"I know I could do that, why is s/he doing it?"
"I just don't make enough."
"If I had..."
These are all statements I hear, and I catch myself saying, that express a state of having and wanting more. Each one implies that what is possessed is not enough.
So today as I reflect on these words, I wonder how they reflect on my acting. I see very powerful connections.
There is a challenge to change perceptions in my world; to that end I offer this:
"Today is Thanksgiving. I am very grateful and thankful for that which I have. It covers all my necessities in this world and gives me the inspiration to push for more. It is more than enough and I am happy for it. Thank you universe."
"I'm so close, if there was just a little bit more."
"I got a job, just not the one I want."
"I know I could do that, why is s/he doing it?"
"I just don't make enough."
"If I had..."
These are all statements I hear, and I catch myself saying, that express a state of having and wanting more. Each one implies that what is possessed is not enough.
So today as I reflect on these words, I wonder how they reflect on my acting. I see very powerful connections.
There is a challenge to change perceptions in my world; to that end I offer this:
"Today is Thanksgiving. I am very grateful and thankful for that which I have. It covers all my necessities in this world and gives me the inspiration to push for more. It is more than enough and I am happy for it. Thank you universe."
Monday, October 7, 2013
Are We Wrong?
"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong." - Joseph Chilton Pearce
from the pages of TAT Journal, Issue 6
I read these words today and began thinking. What does this mean? To live creative life, lose fear of wrong? Hmmm. I have pondered it all day.
What does it mean to be wrong? This is the state where my opinion or thought is not accepted by other people. That whether my thought, mathematically, socially, morally, or anything else, is different from the general consensus then I am wrong. It means I am going against. Okay, that seems fine. There have been times in history when those who were wrong were eventually able to prove they were right - there was much persecution and challenge along the way - but when they finally go there all was well (Capernicus, Galileo, Tesla....) These people all knew when to stand behind their opinions - things begin to make sense.
If we are wrong we often will fight tooth and nail to be right. Being right means acceptance, it means fitting in and from that an easy path. Who would not want to be right. So without these things we are ostracized, looked down on, ridiculed and so on. In order to avoid these things we fight.
Fighting for me takes a lot of energy. I channel everything into it and as a by product of that I typically shut down everything else becoming single focussed. I do this out of fear, fear of not being accepted, fear of being wrong, fear of not having value - for if my statement has no value then how do I? With all that fear running through me and all my energy dedicated to proving (fighting) that I am right when do I act creatively? And so it makes sense and I think it is an exceptionally insightful statement.
If I lose my fear of being wrong, I can accept the challenges that come with being wrong. I can then open myself to other points of view, I can see alternatives and be open to receive offers and different opinions. As an actor I read that list and recognize these are the skills I need to effectively interact on stage and screen. So let me echo the words of Joseph Chilton Pearce once more
To Live A Creative Life,
We MUST Lose Our Fear Of Being Wrong!
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Seamless Art
This week I watched a few movies starring great actors, Daniel Day Lewis and Johnny Depp.
Regardless of your opinion of these two people, they are recognized by the majority, as people who define the craft of acting.
What amazed me while I watched these films is how seamless it all felt. I am not sure that is the best word for it, but it is the one that I use and it is the one that came to my mind while I watched. What I mean by seamless, is that there never appeared to be a struggle or a glitch, there was no point when I thought "ahh that is where the actor had to work at that piece". The character in the end had no seams in them. The analogy is that actors put on a costume called character and I was unable to see the seams of the costume and thus was drawn in enough to view the actor as that character. When I sat back to reflect on this fact I was struck with the idea that it all seems so easy; this acting thing. From there I was taken to a point in my past and a discussion that came up.
Friend: "Acting is easy, any one can do it. Just get up, memorize some lines and say them in front of people."
Me: "Yes, anyone can act, but it takes a special person, an artist to do it well and make a living at it."
The argument I put forth is simple. Everyone can act and everyone has. If you take the time to watch children at play you will see what I mean. When kids play, they play for keeps. They will tell you the rules of the game, they will set the scenario, they will give you your role and then they will go there. I really mean go there. A child will dive in, head first and come to a state where they truly believe and buy into the role they are playing. Anyone who breaks that reality and does not play to the fullest, well they get thrown out. Kids get mad at each other for not playing good enough, for breaking the reality, for not fulfilling their role and fights ensue. This is the reality of childhood and it is the foundation for great acting. We go all the way in, and everybody who is with us on stage or screen has to do the same or there is no show.
Now somewhere along the line kids loose this ability to play so deeply. Not everyone, but many. A mother chides them for not growing up and playing too much, a friend laughs at them or picks on them, a teacher says that it is not a good idea...so many reasons. When these reasons start to sink in then the walls go up and the fear of diving in and being chastised, ridiculed, picked on, singled out, etc. takes over and the play weakens. This is now one less actor in the world.
Those of us who choose acting, step into the ridicule every day, we face the thoughts and memories of people who have given us a version of "no" and we work really hard to find the ability to dive in head first without hesitation to believe everything that is laid out in a script for us to play with. We have a million different methods to do this, and each of us finds our own keys, we do our homework if you will and we entertain you. For those out there that are viewed as the greats, they are special individuals who open that deepest box (or maybe they were lucky and never had there vision tainted, it does happen occasionally) and go all the way, beyond what others who are good can do. These are the actors who to me appear seamless, that they are so far in, I cannot see the stitches where the costume attach to the actor. What amazes me more than anything is how easy it all looks when we watch but how much work I know went into getting there.
Something to strive for definitely.
Regardless of your opinion of these two people, they are recognized by the majority, as people who define the craft of acting.
What amazed me while I watched these films is how seamless it all felt. I am not sure that is the best word for it, but it is the one that I use and it is the one that came to my mind while I watched. What I mean by seamless, is that there never appeared to be a struggle or a glitch, there was no point when I thought "ahh that is where the actor had to work at that piece". The character in the end had no seams in them. The analogy is that actors put on a costume called character and I was unable to see the seams of the costume and thus was drawn in enough to view the actor as that character. When I sat back to reflect on this fact I was struck with the idea that it all seems so easy; this acting thing. From there I was taken to a point in my past and a discussion that came up.
Friend: "Acting is easy, any one can do it. Just get up, memorize some lines and say them in front of people."
Me: "Yes, anyone can act, but it takes a special person, an artist to do it well and make a living at it."
The argument I put forth is simple. Everyone can act and everyone has. If you take the time to watch children at play you will see what I mean. When kids play, they play for keeps. They will tell you the rules of the game, they will set the scenario, they will give you your role and then they will go there. I really mean go there. A child will dive in, head first and come to a state where they truly believe and buy into the role they are playing. Anyone who breaks that reality and does not play to the fullest, well they get thrown out. Kids get mad at each other for not playing good enough, for breaking the reality, for not fulfilling their role and fights ensue. This is the reality of childhood and it is the foundation for great acting. We go all the way in, and everybody who is with us on stage or screen has to do the same or there is no show.
Now somewhere along the line kids loose this ability to play so deeply. Not everyone, but many. A mother chides them for not growing up and playing too much, a friend laughs at them or picks on them, a teacher says that it is not a good idea...so many reasons. When these reasons start to sink in then the walls go up and the fear of diving in and being chastised, ridiculed, picked on, singled out, etc. takes over and the play weakens. This is now one less actor in the world.
Those of us who choose acting, step into the ridicule every day, we face the thoughts and memories of people who have given us a version of "no" and we work really hard to find the ability to dive in head first without hesitation to believe everything that is laid out in a script for us to play with. We have a million different methods to do this, and each of us finds our own keys, we do our homework if you will and we entertain you. For those out there that are viewed as the greats, they are special individuals who open that deepest box (or maybe they were lucky and never had there vision tainted, it does happen occasionally) and go all the way, beyond what others who are good can do. These are the actors who to me appear seamless, that they are so far in, I cannot see the stitches where the costume attach to the actor. What amazes me more than anything is how easy it all looks when we watch but how much work I know went into getting there.
Something to strive for definitely.
Monday, September 23, 2013
There is a Choice
I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror and noticed a change.
For the past year I have been "working out" - I think better put I have been more consistently physically active
Today I was able to definitively notice some of the changes
Nothing dramatic, I haven't grown muscles overnight, or lost a hundred pounds; but there are changes.
The past few blogs have expressed a level of frustration, discomfort, disillusionment, upset etc. with acting
All fair feelings to have
It is a well accepted fact that acting is a challenging industry to pursue
It is also a well accepted fact that, like everything else in the known universe, we have ups and downs
Not everyday can be roses I believe I said.
Fortunately I am thinker
Someone who reflects back on the days, the weeks and months and works to draw conclusions
From those conclusions I work to make changes as necessary and hopefully "brighten things up"
With the dirty laundry of disillusionment aired I have been thinking
How can I change things?
It has seemed insurmountable to change things that are beyond my control
Casting does not see me, people do not hire me ...
I have asked and done what I was told to change things ...
It did not work ...
It must be beyond me ...
And then today I noticed a change in my physical self ...
The body is made of muscles and many other things
But in respect to the changes I see the muscle structure is what changes
The mind I was once told is just a muscle - like any other in the body
If the body can change, bit by bit, piece by piece, slowly but surely
Due to continued effort and work of a physical nature
Then the mind, being a muscle, can also change bit by bit slowly but surely due to...
What is it that the mind needs to exercise?
I wondered and I pondered
I feel creatively stuck, creatively un-noticed, untouched
What is it that is changing the body - physical exercise for weak muscles
Then it should follow - creative exercise for weak creativity
And so I realize I have a choice
I can sit and wait - hope that I will be given a chance to be creative through being cast in some project
Or I can begin creative exercise and potentially create my own project
This seems likely
It feels daunting
But when I started jogging I only ran half a kilometre
This morning I ran five of them
A number of weeks ago I was not blogging
Today there are a number of blogs posted
Maybe if I start writing that kernel of an idea out
Maybe in a little while there will be a script, a shoot schedule a film
Maybe a play, maybe a book, a reading series, a career.
For the past year I have been "working out" - I think better put I have been more consistently physically active
Today I was able to definitively notice some of the changes
Nothing dramatic, I haven't grown muscles overnight, or lost a hundred pounds; but there are changes.
The past few blogs have expressed a level of frustration, discomfort, disillusionment, upset etc. with acting
All fair feelings to have
It is a well accepted fact that acting is a challenging industry to pursue
It is also a well accepted fact that, like everything else in the known universe, we have ups and downs
Not everyday can be roses I believe I said.
Fortunately I am thinker
Someone who reflects back on the days, the weeks and months and works to draw conclusions
From those conclusions I work to make changes as necessary and hopefully "brighten things up"
With the dirty laundry of disillusionment aired I have been thinking
How can I change things?
It has seemed insurmountable to change things that are beyond my control
Casting does not see me, people do not hire me ...
I have asked and done what I was told to change things ...
It did not work ...
It must be beyond me ...
And then today I noticed a change in my physical self ...
The body is made of muscles and many other things
But in respect to the changes I see the muscle structure is what changes
The mind I was once told is just a muscle - like any other in the body
If the body can change, bit by bit, piece by piece, slowly but surely
Due to continued effort and work of a physical nature
Then the mind, being a muscle, can also change bit by bit slowly but surely due to...
What is it that the mind needs to exercise?
I wondered and I pondered
I feel creatively stuck, creatively un-noticed, untouched
What is it that is changing the body - physical exercise for weak muscles
Then it should follow - creative exercise for weak creativity
And so I realize I have a choice
I can sit and wait - hope that I will be given a chance to be creative through being cast in some project
Or I can begin creative exercise and potentially create my own project
This seems likely
It feels daunting
But when I started jogging I only ran half a kilometre
This morning I ran five of them
A number of weeks ago I was not blogging
Today there are a number of blogs posted
Maybe if I start writing that kernel of an idea out
Maybe in a little while there will be a script, a shoot schedule a film
Maybe a play, maybe a book, a reading series, a career.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Blessing or Curse
Sounds like To Be or Not To Be; and in many ways it is.
"What do you want to be/do with your life?"
I have asked and been asked that question many times in life.
In my own case, by the time I was fourteen I knew that answer: I want to be an actor.
That is how old I was when it hit me, fourteen. It hit me so hard that I have never wavered on that point. Many years have gone by now and my answer is still the same: I want to be an actor.
At this point in my life I am an actor. I have successfully struggled, and moved through all the hoops that have allowed me at times to solely make my living as an actor. It also means that I have successfully struggled and moved through all the hoops that have allowed me to mostly make a living off of part time work while auditioning and living the "actor's life." Regardless of any hardship that I might be able to complain about, the answer is still the same, but it carries an addendum: I only want to be an actor. Meaning continually strive for my sole source of income to come from acting work. What actor does not want this?
I was reflecting on this point recently and the question which I answered so many years ago and I was struck with an interesting point. For as many times as I have been asked and answered that question I have also heard, an equal amount of times, the response of: You are so lucky to know what you want in life. This idea, of being lucky to know that I want to be an actor, has sat with me for a while and I am beginning to wonder how lucky I truly am. Lets weigh it out.
Knowing what I want provides me with, unwavering focus, drive, determination and push. It gives me guidance on what I study, watch, read, immerse myself in. It guides how I select my non acting work. It helps define my morals and ideas of the world. It provides me with this and many other things which society deems positive.
At the same time though it means that I am not satisfied unless this goal is found. It means that I will deal with hardship and rejection, monetary limitations and struggles, because I will not compromise my path to acting. It means that my friends and family have and will again question my outcomes, and their value. It means so many other things which in general society does not deem positive.
Now if I didn't know what I wanted, I would have greater freedom to explore the world and what it has to offer me in terms of a career. It would mean I would be more flexible and open to alternate options. It could mean, as I have worked in number of fields now, that one of those fields could be that which sustains me comfortably.
In some ways I feel limited by knowing so thoroughly what I want as my career. So I wonder, is it a blessing or a curse? To be or not to be an actor, that is the question? But for me the answer is "BE" and receive with it all that comes from that choice; regardless of it being deemed positive or negative.
"What do you want to be/do with your life?"
I have asked and been asked that question many times in life.
In my own case, by the time I was fourteen I knew that answer: I want to be an actor.
That is how old I was when it hit me, fourteen. It hit me so hard that I have never wavered on that point. Many years have gone by now and my answer is still the same: I want to be an actor.
At this point in my life I am an actor. I have successfully struggled, and moved through all the hoops that have allowed me at times to solely make my living as an actor. It also means that I have successfully struggled and moved through all the hoops that have allowed me to mostly make a living off of part time work while auditioning and living the "actor's life." Regardless of any hardship that I might be able to complain about, the answer is still the same, but it carries an addendum: I only want to be an actor. Meaning continually strive for my sole source of income to come from acting work. What actor does not want this?
I was reflecting on this point recently and the question which I answered so many years ago and I was struck with an interesting point. For as many times as I have been asked and answered that question I have also heard, an equal amount of times, the response of: You are so lucky to know what you want in life. This idea, of being lucky to know that I want to be an actor, has sat with me for a while and I am beginning to wonder how lucky I truly am. Lets weigh it out.
Knowing what I want provides me with, unwavering focus, drive, determination and push. It gives me guidance on what I study, watch, read, immerse myself in. It guides how I select my non acting work. It helps define my morals and ideas of the world. It provides me with this and many other things which society deems positive.
At the same time though it means that I am not satisfied unless this goal is found. It means that I will deal with hardship and rejection, monetary limitations and struggles, because I will not compromise my path to acting. It means that my friends and family have and will again question my outcomes, and their value. It means so many other things which in general society does not deem positive.
Now if I didn't know what I wanted, I would have greater freedom to explore the world and what it has to offer me in terms of a career. It would mean I would be more flexible and open to alternate options. It could mean, as I have worked in number of fields now, that one of those fields could be that which sustains me comfortably.
In some ways I feel limited by knowing so thoroughly what I want as my career. So I wonder, is it a blessing or a curse? To be or not to be an actor, that is the question? But for me the answer is "BE" and receive with it all that comes from that choice; regardless of it being deemed positive or negative.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Voicing
Not every day can be roses and sunshine.
People who know me, know I typically don't rant or carry on; well at least they know I do it sparingly.
So today I thought I would voice out loud to you my readers.
Now I don't know who you are and that is okay. (Side note: thank you to all of you who read these)
I don't like to assume; however, it seems fair that as I am an actor then some of my readers would also be actors.
Following that logic then it would also hold true that many of those actors share some of these struggles.
Today, on behalf of myself and any other actors who may read this, or any artist who can associate to this, I give me (and you) permission to rant.
I am tired of going to auditions where kids half my age have a bigger resume than me.
I am tired of not being able to secure an audition with one of the big companies.
I am tired of not being able to be seen by major casting.
"Do something about it, create your own work, get new demo reel..."
I am tired of reinventing myself, promoting the new show I am in, getting new head shots and demo reel, re doing my wardrobe, contacting casting and artistic directors, getting reviewers out to see my work etc. I have talked to casting agents and artistic directors and done everything on the lists they have asked and suggested in order to be seen and I am tired of doing it. The reason I am tired, is that after doing it numerous times not once, not once, has any casting or artistic director come to see my work, or called me in because of the promotion or change. So I begin to wonder and question: Why do they say do all this if they don't notice.
I will step aside for a moment and give respect to the fact that these people are very busy and they can't see everyone. I know I have run my own theatre company for seven years, I have co-ordinated a film festival for four, there just are not enough hours in the day.
With that said I have now been in the industry actively for fifteen years, I have reinvented and invited and and and many times. There are not enough hours in the day, but over fifteen years you think that there may be some kind of response.
Why does this bother me so much? I'm an actor, I know what I signed up for? I know and understand the struggle? It bothers me so much, because I am actually getting tired of the flattery. What? Yes the flattery. For the people who do see me, for the companies I do audition for, I am now, after years of training, getting consistent feed back in respects to how good I am, how I shone at that audition, how I stood out from the crowd etc. I am being recognized for my skills but I am not being hired. Not being hired means my resume does not grow which means that the bigger companies and casting does not look at me.
So in the immortal words of one of my good friends:
"Flattery don't pay the bills, hire me bitch"
Oh so true. Like I said not every day can be roses and sunshine. Everyone has an off day. For a change I decided I would share and not hide behind a fake "I'm fine"
Tomorrow will be a better day. It always is.
People who know me, know I typically don't rant or carry on; well at least they know I do it sparingly.
So today I thought I would voice out loud to you my readers.
Now I don't know who you are and that is okay. (Side note: thank you to all of you who read these)
I don't like to assume; however, it seems fair that as I am an actor then some of my readers would also be actors.
Following that logic then it would also hold true that many of those actors share some of these struggles.
Today, on behalf of myself and any other actors who may read this, or any artist who can associate to this, I give me (and you) permission to rant.
I am tired of going to auditions where kids half my age have a bigger resume than me.
I am tired of not being able to secure an audition with one of the big companies.
I am tired of not being able to be seen by major casting.
"Do something about it, create your own work, get new demo reel..."
I am tired of reinventing myself, promoting the new show I am in, getting new head shots and demo reel, re doing my wardrobe, contacting casting and artistic directors, getting reviewers out to see my work etc. I have talked to casting agents and artistic directors and done everything on the lists they have asked and suggested in order to be seen and I am tired of doing it. The reason I am tired, is that after doing it numerous times not once, not once, has any casting or artistic director come to see my work, or called me in because of the promotion or change. So I begin to wonder and question: Why do they say do all this if they don't notice.
I will step aside for a moment and give respect to the fact that these people are very busy and they can't see everyone. I know I have run my own theatre company for seven years, I have co-ordinated a film festival for four, there just are not enough hours in the day.
With that said I have now been in the industry actively for fifteen years, I have reinvented and invited and and and many times. There are not enough hours in the day, but over fifteen years you think that there may be some kind of response.
Why does this bother me so much? I'm an actor, I know what I signed up for? I know and understand the struggle? It bothers me so much, because I am actually getting tired of the flattery. What? Yes the flattery. For the people who do see me, for the companies I do audition for, I am now, after years of training, getting consistent feed back in respects to how good I am, how I shone at that audition, how I stood out from the crowd etc. I am being recognized for my skills but I am not being hired. Not being hired means my resume does not grow which means that the bigger companies and casting does not look at me.
So in the immortal words of one of my good friends:
"Flattery don't pay the bills, hire me bitch"
Oh so true. Like I said not every day can be roses and sunshine. Everyone has an off day. For a change I decided I would share and not hide behind a fake "I'm fine"
Tomorrow will be a better day. It always is.
Monday, September 2, 2013
Focus and Creativity
There is a belief held by many:
That the external reflects the internal.
This is something that I subscribe to.
Recently I moved.
I found myself working hard to get the space sorted out - balanced I thought at one point.
When I said this to myself I realized how true it was:
I was out of balance because my space was out of balance.
From this thought came the next one:
If I am out of balance then my creative energy and skill is also out of balance.
As an actor this is not good.
I took a step back and examined a bit further.
As I thought I extrapolated this next thought.
If my body is the home of my soul (creativity) and my body is out of balance....
Yes it seemed to make sense to me that for the inner energy and creativity to flow
Then any vessel that I have immediate control over must be in a balance for me.
For me to reach a focus and have ability to channel my creativity then I must control my environment.
That environment is first and foremost my physical body, then my living space, then the area I live in, then the area I work in, then the area and people I choose to hang out with. I have discovered through recent weeks when these things are organized then so my creativity flows. Bit by bit, piece by piece I recognize and see more ideas, thoughts, feelings of a creative nature flowing. And so for me this belief of external effecting internal holds true.
If I am to continue on my creative path I must keep my external elements in a state which I feel is balanced.
That the external reflects the internal.
This is something that I subscribe to.
Recently I moved.
I found myself working hard to get the space sorted out - balanced I thought at one point.
When I said this to myself I realized how true it was:
I was out of balance because my space was out of balance.
From this thought came the next one:
If I am out of balance then my creative energy and skill is also out of balance.
As an actor this is not good.
I took a step back and examined a bit further.
As I thought I extrapolated this next thought.
If my body is the home of my soul (creativity) and my body is out of balance....
Yes it seemed to make sense to me that for the inner energy and creativity to flow
Then any vessel that I have immediate control over must be in a balance for me.
For me to reach a focus and have ability to channel my creativity then I must control my environment.
That environment is first and foremost my physical body, then my living space, then the area I live in, then the area I work in, then the area and people I choose to hang out with. I have discovered through recent weeks when these things are organized then so my creativity flows. Bit by bit, piece by piece I recognize and see more ideas, thoughts, feelings of a creative nature flowing. And so for me this belief of external effecting internal holds true.
If I am to continue on my creative path I must keep my external elements in a state which I feel is balanced.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
To Hear or Not to Hear?
This summer I helped a friend shoot a documentary film. One of the tasks he asked me to do was be the eye line for people he interviewed. This seemed like such a simple task; however, it proved to be one of the hardest things I did all summer and one of the most rewarding.
The catch to being an eye line is that you need to engage the interview subject. You need to respond with body language, nods of the head, smiles, quizzical looks etc. By doing so the interview subject becomes more lively more engaged and in turn more camera friendly. This simple job is an important one. On the surface it seems so simple, sit in this chair and visually respond to the person talking so they feel you are taking them in. But what if you couldn't understand a word of anything that was being said? That is the problem I faced - all the interviews were in a foreign language. Initially it was very hard to stay focussed, to even stay awake, I had no idea what was being said, it bored me, I was at a loss and then I turned it into an acting game.
Listening is one of the greatest actor tools. To truly hear what your scene partner is saying, to receive it with vulnerability so that you can respond with truth in your line is a necessity to doing this job well. Being corny it is the question To Hear or Not to Hear? So as I sat there listening to the gibberish of the second interviewee I was reminded of the gibberish acting game. Two people get up with different objectives and through made up gibberish and sounds try to communicate what they want to each other. (Side bar - there is a great TYA play, Tete a Tete, by Robert Morgan, that does this wonderfully and sends a poignant message about our environment) This acting exercise always fails until someone stops fighting to be heard and changes the tactic to listening. And so I began to listen.
I was reminded that listening is more than hearing words; it is about hearing the tone, the inflection, the pace - it is seeing the body language and following the flow of the speech. It is about engaging someone's eyes and looking into their soul as they share their story. As all this came to me, as I took in every foreign word I began to understand passion, hurt, love, joy and an on going myriad of emotions from these wonderful people answering questions I knew nothing about. All of a sudden I was awake and engaged, all of a sudden the interviewees became people rather than talking heads. It was such a rewarding experience to sit and be the eye line for these people. I had the chance to observe people tell some of the things that move their souls and although I do not know the details I know they were moved and in turn so was I.
So looking back on this I am reminded that as an actor if I listen, to everything my fellow actor tells me, as they say that monologue for the millionth time, and if they listen to me, then we will engage, and there will be energy and flow and the play wrights words will come to life and so will the audience.
LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN
The catch to being an eye line is that you need to engage the interview subject. You need to respond with body language, nods of the head, smiles, quizzical looks etc. By doing so the interview subject becomes more lively more engaged and in turn more camera friendly. This simple job is an important one. On the surface it seems so simple, sit in this chair and visually respond to the person talking so they feel you are taking them in. But what if you couldn't understand a word of anything that was being said? That is the problem I faced - all the interviews were in a foreign language. Initially it was very hard to stay focussed, to even stay awake, I had no idea what was being said, it bored me, I was at a loss and then I turned it into an acting game.
Listening is one of the greatest actor tools. To truly hear what your scene partner is saying, to receive it with vulnerability so that you can respond with truth in your line is a necessity to doing this job well. Being corny it is the question To Hear or Not to Hear? So as I sat there listening to the gibberish of the second interviewee I was reminded of the gibberish acting game. Two people get up with different objectives and through made up gibberish and sounds try to communicate what they want to each other. (Side bar - there is a great TYA play, Tete a Tete, by Robert Morgan, that does this wonderfully and sends a poignant message about our environment) This acting exercise always fails until someone stops fighting to be heard and changes the tactic to listening. And so I began to listen.
I was reminded that listening is more than hearing words; it is about hearing the tone, the inflection, the pace - it is seeing the body language and following the flow of the speech. It is about engaging someone's eyes and looking into their soul as they share their story. As all this came to me, as I took in every foreign word I began to understand passion, hurt, love, joy and an on going myriad of emotions from these wonderful people answering questions I knew nothing about. All of a sudden I was awake and engaged, all of a sudden the interviewees became people rather than talking heads. It was such a rewarding experience to sit and be the eye line for these people. I had the chance to observe people tell some of the things that move their souls and although I do not know the details I know they were moved and in turn so was I.
So looking back on this I am reminded that as an actor if I listen, to everything my fellow actor tells me, as they say that monologue for the millionth time, and if they listen to me, then we will engage, and there will be energy and flow and the play wrights words will come to life and so will the audience.
LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
DO!
In the immortal words of Master Yoda
"No! Try not! Do or do not. There is no try." (Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back)
More to read in the coming days.
"No! Try not! Do or do not. There is no try." (Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back)
More to read in the coming days.
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