Don't throw it out!

I've been rehearsing a show now for a number of weeks. It's called Seven Days.  Told from the present and the past, it is the story of a family coming together, of reconciling their differences and finding compassion for one another after their domineering matriarch passes away. The show is produced by Teatron Theatre, directed by Ari Weisberg and running from January 8-19 2014 at the Toronto Centre for the Arts.  I'm excited to be playing with a group of talented actors; in addition to this, as the character who goads and challenges the family at every turn, I'm looking forward to causing some havoc on stage. 

So it's Christmas Day and I'm sitting comfortably in a chair running lines over and over again. Breaking the scenes into smaller pieces and through repetition gaining deeper understanding of the text and  the relationships. I'm doing what I do, I'm working, striving to create the best character performance I possibly can.

I was reading a short monologue and I caught myself "just" reading without thought. I was throwing it away. What?! A solo moment where I could shine tossed out the window?!  Can't have that! (Sarcasm/truth). So I dug in began to consciously say the words and of course found so much more. The proverbial light bulb went on above my head when I said "there is never a moment on stage to throw away. Each line, each word has a purpose". Simple and true. I had forgotten that for a moment. Forgotten how important it is to do the homework. When I do, I find the character's depth and humanity - I find the powerful performance.  

As an exercise, next time you pick up your pen, paintbrush, instrument or tool for creativity, approach it with absolute awareness.  See what happens when you remember that "Nothing you do as an artist is a throw away."

Down Time!

Since mid August when I started writing again I have endeavored to write a post every week.

Last week I missed one.

As you know I was sick, I got healthier, then there was the feeling of catching up, running about for the Christmas shopping, putting up the tree, cooking, hosting a party….

Sounds like excuses to me.

I actually felt guilty for not writing at one point, and I thought to myself,

"Next week when it's time to write again, give your readers an apology."

So I've been contemplating that all week.  Fortunately most of this week I had off.

I was relaxing, having got a lot of the things done I need done, when it hit me.

No matter what we do, how heavy or light the load may seem, regardless of any circumstance

We all need down time.

I commented on it with a friend who works seven days a week.  I offered advice that they need a break

And so it hit me.

I didn't neglect my blog, or my readers, my body was telling me I needed some down time from writing.

Its been a new venture and I have been at it diligently since its undertaking.

I needed a bit of a break. That's all.

We all need a break sometimes.

Merry Christmas everyone.  I'll write next week.

Christmas Is Dying

I normally keep my posts to things related to acting but this week I make an exception.
I have been and, I imagine, always will be a lover of Christmas.

As a kid growing up the snow fell.
Streets began to glow with special lights and reflect in the new world of white.
The city put up lights and decorations.
Trees were decked out with Christmas fare.
The malls transformed into magical lands.
The fifth floor of the big department stores became Toy Land.
Carolers sung amongst the shoppers; and when they weren't present carols piped through the speakers.
Store windows were frosted white with scenes of winter play.
Santa set up a castle so we could visit.
Television ran  specials and hot chocolate flowed.
Most of all, on the lips of every person were the words of Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

Christmas possesses a magic; a magic which transcends all races, cultures, creeds and colours.
It was a time when everyone seemed to simply say "I wish you well, we are brothers called man"
It seemed that tensions released and smiles dominated people's faces.
Christmas' magic, created through decorations, carols, windows, castles and trees,
Brought a general good will to mankind.

I went through the mall today
I heard no carols,
Decorations so sparse they were hard to see
One lonely tree
No frosted windows
No Toy Land
No castle
No jolly old elf
Most of all, no smiles and no words imparting peace and good will to man

Has Scrooge's Bah Humbug Won?  
(Ebenezer Scrooge copyright via Disney)

As I looked to the North I could not help think:
Christmas is Dying.

Reset

This last week I was sick. Very sick.
To all the people who know me they understand this is serious. 
You see, I am blessed with the immune system of a Titan.
The last time I was sick, I had a cough, I felt groggy, and I laid on the couch for the better part of the day.
The next day I went to work, perfectly healthy.
My first roommate, ended up with a serious cold he could not shake for a few months. He continually felt like garbage and looked worse for two months.
My second roommate, also blessed with a powerful immune system, was down and out for two weeks. He dragged his butt to work, I think took a few sick days, and cursed my name.
My third roommate, couldn't get out of bed for three weeks.  

I made him chicken soup and tended to his every need.

So for me to be sick for a week is serious!  There have been a few jokes about calling W.H.O for the planet's safety.  No one came to visit for fear of death.  Bless Karim M for his trot down the hall to hand me hot soup and his humorous high speed exodus to avoid infection.  

Sick by my standards: I was bedridden.  I was delirious. I had a fever.  I broke the fever. I had another fever. I broke the fever.  I got another fever - fuck that I went to the clinic.  Chest x-rays for pneumonia.   I took a sick day from work!  I missed two rehearsals!!!! I'm still coughing, wheezing and waiting on chest x-ray results. 

The doctor said to me, "Even the Titans need to fall once in a while"
A harmless joke based on my amazing history; but, it hung with me.  It connected to that old saying about getting knocked down only matters if you don't get up.  Or the one about falling off the horse so you can get back on. Or "That which does not kill me makes me stronger."

To me these have always been statements of pushing forward and fighting against the thing that knocks me down.  Of being able to stand up and fight harder than that which put me on the ground in the first place.  I'm a bit older now, I don't turn to violence, mentally or otherwise, nearly as often as youthful me did.  So while I thought about falling Titans (lying in my bed wheezing) I wondered, "why is it important Titans to fall?"

So they can calibrate, so they can understand what knocked them down, and fortify against that in the future.  It is not about the fight. It's about hitting the reset button so new information can be assimilated. A computer loads a program, it shuts down and reboots with the new working system.  Well I needed to get sick to assimilate, to load the new program, to understand what "sick" means, to remind myself of the empathy and compassion for those in my shoes and worse, for the growth and character it builds to go sleepless because of coughing, for the experience of getting up again.

How does this effect my actor, my artist, my creative self?
I ask you, I ask me, I ask the world, 

When do we as artists reset to assimilate and make what we have learned fully part of us rather than some concept taught by a teacher, a peer, a you tube video?  

Find yourself in the reset - grow and create.