There is a Choice

I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror and noticed a change.
For the past year I have been "working out" - I think better put I have been more consistently physically active
Today I was able to definitively notice some of the changes
Nothing dramatic, I haven't grown muscles overnight, or lost a hundred pounds; but there are changes.

The past few blogs have expressed a level of frustration, discomfort, disillusionment, upset etc. with acting
All fair feelings to have
It is a well accepted fact that acting is a challenging industry to pursue
It is also a well accepted fact that, like everything else in the known universe, we have ups and downs
Not everyday can be roses I believe I said.

Fortunately I am thinker
Someone who reflects back on the days, the weeks and months and works to draw conclusions
From those conclusions I work to make changes as necessary and hopefully "brighten things up" 
With the dirty laundry of disillusionment aired I have been thinking 
How can I change things?
It has seemed insurmountable to change things that are beyond my control
Casting does not see me, people do not hire me ...
I have asked and done what I was told to change things ...
It did not work ...
It must be beyond me ...
And then today I noticed a change in my physical self ...

The body is made of muscles and many other things
But in respect to the changes I see the muscle structure is what changes
The mind I was once told is just a muscle - like any other in the body
If the body can change, bit by bit, piece by piece, slowly but surely
Due to continued effort and work of a physical nature
Then the mind, being a muscle, can also change bit by bit slowly but surely due to...

What is it that the mind needs to exercise?
I wondered and I pondered
I feel creatively stuck, creatively un-noticed, untouched
What is it that is changing the body - physical exercise for weak muscles
Then it should follow - creative exercise for weak creativity

And so I realize I have a choice
I can sit and wait - hope that I will be given a chance to be creative through being cast in some project
Or I can begin creative exercise and potentially create my own project 

This seems likely
It feels daunting
But when I started jogging I only ran half a kilometre
This morning I ran five of them
A number of weeks ago I was not blogging
Today there are a number of blogs posted
Maybe if I start writing that kernel of an idea out
Maybe in a little while there will be a script, a shoot schedule a film
Maybe a play, maybe a book, a reading series, a career.