Getting Busy (2010-09-03)

Acting is not an easy profession. In the prologue to his book Audition, Michael Shurtleff says, "To go into acting is like asking for admission to an insane asylum. Anyone may apply, but only the certifiably insane are admitted." Over the years I have joked about being crazy, nuts, insane, psychotic and off my rocker; but, today as I sit here I think that to some degree I must truly be.

I am fortunate that I am skilled in many disciplines and they come easily and proficiently to me. Of these many disciplines they would all offer me, if I chose to pursue them, a comfortable life filled with all the trappings of monetary wealth and desire. But yet for the past thirteen years I have pursued the one discipline which, within my own realm, I am not very good at, which challenges me, and which causes me to struggle on all fronts from the emotional to the monetary. 

Through those thirteen years I have had my successes. Tours in Japan, across Canada and the US, plays re-written for me, my own show and appearances that have even got me noticed by the general public. Yet for all these successes they are but a flickering candle in a strong wind; lasting for a brief period and blown out before the scene can truly be taken in. For all the illustrious moments none of them have connected or shone brightly enough to carry me forward to the next project and create the train of events that lead to a career.

It got to the point where the business grew to much for me. I took a break for almost three years; left the country, almost got married and settled down to leave it all behind for good. Yet here I am once again asking what do I need to do to open the doors so my candle shines brightly enough to guide me to the next project?

I have asked this question before, many times. I have re-invented myself to gain another this or that; but what do I do this time. I cannot help but think this thing called the internet is the key to opening up the door. I love acting in provocative pieces that challenge the audience that make them think and feel uncomfortable in their routines. It is this work that drives the independent theatre scene, and the work is out there. So I decided to find all these companies, and talk to them, maybe put my foot in the door and have them see me before they think to shut it. From there to work with them.

I must surely be crazy, but if I have chosen my own incarceration in this asylum then it is time to beat on the padded walls until some intern comes to open the door and show me to the entire world.